Reality hurts!

as an active member of a forum, i happen to ask some members about second chances in life and to my surprise, this reply got my attention.

I honestly don't believe in second chances. If you are to select a lifetime partner, dapat he/she PROVES already sa bf/gf relationship nyo pa lang na talagang mahal at tapat sayo yung partner mo (hindi man siya perpekto, pero alam mo within yourself that you feel SAFE and do not feel any FEAR na magcommit dun sa taong yun, at buo ang loob nyo pareho). It's actually a matter of selecting THE RIGHT PARTNER.

I really believe na there is a always a GOOD REASON behind any break-up. Kaya nga kayo humantong sa ganun dahil hindi nyo na matiis ang isa't isa diba? Meaning hindi nyo talaga kinayang panindigan ang relasyon nyo due to probably subconscious relational problems nyo (ugali ng partner, immaturity, abuser, etc.) that you may not be aware of and keep denying. I'm very much wary of partners who have on-and-off relationships, and I believe that the "cool-off" stage is a load of BULLCRAP. Kung talagang meant to be kayo, dapat continuously ma-prove nyo na talagang no matter what happens, you will stick together. Lalo na't alam naman natin na being in a relationship will eventually lead to MARRIAGE, wherein your current relationship as bf/gf will only be MAGNIFIED, contrary to the usual belief na MABABAGO mo yung tao. Kaya nga nashoshock madalas yung mga newlyweds kasi akala nila after marriage magbabago nila yung ugali ng partner nila or yung communication problems nila before will be gone. That's why I am also a firm believer na ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER. (I can attest to this sa mga relasyon na pinagdaanan ng family members ko, and sobrang masaklap ang kinalabasan once nangyari na ang cheating. For me, deal-breaker na talaga dapat siya, kahit anumang dahilan nya for cheating on you). Pinaparating mo lang lalo sa kanya na "OK LANG na mangaliwa ako, pinagbigyan mo naman ako nung first time eh..kung maulit man yun, pagbibigyan mo naman ulit ko diba? Kasi MAHAL mo talaga ako?" Kayang-kaya nya ulitin yung ginawa nyang pagkakamali, lalo na kung ginawa nya sa iyo yun nung mag-bf/gf pa lang kayo. This just proves na hindi capable ang partner mo na maging responsible at panindigan ang relasyon nyo. Sorry to burst everyone's bubbles, but that's just not what a LIFETIME PARTNERSHIP is all about. If everyone just searched and SELECTED THE RIGHT PARTNER for them, ma-lessen yung chances na magkaroon kayo ng major conflict that will lead to a break-up. It's everyone's responsibility to do so.

Of course I'm not disregarding yung ability to FORGIVE kasi wala naman talagang perpekto, pero dapat kung makakasama mo siya nang panghabang-buhay, yung alam mong may integridad sa umpisa pa lang, kilala mo na ng lubusan, at tanggap mo na talaga kung anuman siya. Tsaka nyo na bigyan ng room for forgiveness kapag mag-asawa na kayo, dahil kakailanganin nyo talaga yun on a daily basis lalo na't manunumpa kayo sa harapan ng Diyos (ang pagsasama at pagtitiis sa isa't isa nang panghabangbuhay).

I believe that true love will happen at the right time only and with the right couple. Kapag may nangyari na deal-breaker sa isang relasyon, it's better to call it quits than to have any regrets in the future lalo na sa marriage nyo. Realize that there is definitely someone else better than your ex. Kaya nga siyang tinawag na EX diba??? You always deserve better.

what really got my attention there is the word reality. the situation in which uncle is in is between ideal vs reality. ideally speaking, there could be a possibility of acceptance however there is a consequence of such, just like the abovementioned statement- INTEGRITY during your bf/gf days. it is hurting to see them go because their relationship started from being strangers-bestfriends and lovers. too sad they are slowly drifting apart. is there really a hope left?